📝 The power of writing things down
For a long time now I've been pretty sure that I have undiagnosed ADHD. What finally convinced me was watching this Dr. K video. It basically described me and my struggles growing up pretty much perfectly. Turns out you get depressed and ashamed when you're constantly told by everyone "We know you can do better, so why aren't you?" and then all your self worth slowly wears down over years and years until there's nothing left. But I digress...
Like many other such neurodivergences, everything is on a spectrum, and if I do indeed have ADHD, I am fairly well functioning after dealing with these issues for thirty years.
I've also learned about the concept of "working memory" in relation to ADHD, which I could very easily relate too given my interest in computers (For the uninitiated, the simile is RAM).
My main problem has always been my forgetfulness, combined with being easily distracted. Basically any task or thought that comes into my head has to replace something else, and this means that I have a very hard time 'holding onto thoughts' for long enough to be able to act on them, and stuff gets forgotten. Time and time again. I have so many thoughts at once (or in succession) that I often can't act on them in time, which leads to either forgetting, or procrastinating because I don't know where to start.
While I've been aware of this problem for a long time, and tried various things to work around it, nothing has really worked. It's been a big burden for me, especially when it comes to my relationships. The tasks, duties and chores of daily life either get forgotten or ignored because my brain has to make room for something else that it thinks is more important, or because I get distracted by something and I'm suddenly completely oblivious to this thing that I was supposed to do or remember for later.
My best previous solution was keeping a digital to-do list, but the problem with digital tools is - say it with me - they're on your phone! Our phones are the single biggest source of distractions in our daily lives, and for someone with ADHD this is not a minor issue. I can't tell you how many times I've pulled up my phone to note something down only to be immediately distracted by a notification or something that then leads me to instantly forget what it was I was supposed to be noting down.
Then last year, I discovered journaling. I bought an A5-sized notebook that I made monthly spreads in to track whatever was the most memorable thing on a particular day, and whatever habits I wanted to get better at. I found it to be a very nice way to be able to remember the bigger events in my life, and to easily look back on my months as a whole, but it didn't have any real effect on the struggles I was having day-to-day.
And then I had an epiphany: What if I did this continuously throughout every individual day? What if as soon as I had a thought, a big emotion, or an event happen, that I just wrote it down so that I didn't have to carry it around in my brain for later? So that's what I did!
This extremely simple tool, combined with a very simple Bullet Journaling method, has transformed my daily life completely. No longer do I have to overload my brain trying to remember every single thing that pops into my head during the day. Tasks and actions are stored for me, kept safe, and I'm instantly reminded every time I reach for the book and open it to where I left off.
It's small enough to keep in my pocket (although I do wish it wasn't quite so thick), and I can reach for it just as easily as reaching for my phone. Jotting down what I need to remember - or whatever I feel like documenting - takes only a couple of seconds, and back into the pocket it goes.
Now suddenly, chores get done more often. Birthdays are remembered. Appointments are kept. Projects are started - and more importantly, completed. All the small stuff I need to remember to buy actually get bought. And I finally have some relief from the constant feeling of being overwhelmed and ashamed that I can't seem to get shit done.
It has even helped me to be more creative; I had the idea to write this blog post while I was at work the other day. I jotted it down in my book, quickly forgot about it, and when I got home I checked my book. Next think I knew I was drafting it.
I can't believe it took me this long when such a simple solution was right in front of me the whole time. The smartphone made me think that it could replace stuff like this. Technically this is true of course, but in practice it's been night and day. I'm sure the phone can act as something like this for people with neurotypical brains, but for me it was a huge detriment to my daily functioning, and I'm very glad that I finally found something that works for me.
The book is a Dingbats A6 Wildlife Collection notebook btw. They're lovely little hardcover notebooks that come with a ribbon bookmark and a pen loop. Like I mentioned earlier, I think this one's a little too thick, so my next notebook will probably be slimmer for better pocketability. Other than that though, it's very nice, and very sturdy.
If this journaling thing sounds like something you might want to try, Dingbats and Leuchtturm1917 are two brands worth looking into, as well as the Bullet Journal branded notebooks. But if we're honest with ourselves, any old notebook and pen would probably do the trick.
Gonna cross this blog post off my list now. Until the next one! ✌️😉